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I came to the conclusion that what most people, that is modernists think of 'love' is just lust combined with some misguided, often misplaced emotional issues. I think many people in the west are brainwashed to think that marriage is the natural result of 'love' and the whole nonsense about that there's 'the one' for everybody or some made up 'soulmate' bullshit. Yet deep down inside I believe in marriage and starting a family, but not what most people have in mind.
Ultimately, I think the best marriages are formed as a result of commonalities, which are, but often not restricted to:
1) Cultural background (this includes ethnicity, language, culture, etc.)
2) Personality traits
3) Shared religious/philosophical background
4) Political affiliations
Ultimately, both spouses should have many things in common in order to get along with each other, just like how individuals get along well with each other. Which is why I prefer traditional methods of meeting potential spouses, such as matchmaking or even arranged marriage. This is why men should be more selective about their potential mates and weed out undesirable candidates for marriage. Marriage is not about love, it is about contracts. To put it more bluntly, it was a method of forging alliances between families, clans, tribes, etc. I have very much lost my faith in the concept of 'free love' and 'love marriages'.
If people learned to get along with each other and not try to backstab each other, then we would be seeing a much better world. But I have very little faith in humanity and would much rather watch them kill each other rather than helping them.
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